The great horse whisperer Monty Roberts said it best, “Nobody has the right to say do this or I’ll hurt you.” I think nobody has the RIGHT to hurt anybody. But we do, we just do anyway.

Then, we are expected to grow a thicker skin and toughen up. Why? Why should we toughen up? Why can’t people just calm the hell down?  We have become so delusional, watching too many TV shows thinking, oh things must be done like this. No, they don’t have to be. It could be different…

Why insult people you don’t even know, or spread negativity just for the hell of it? You may think reading this, shit, why do people do this? Guess what? We all do it, every day. We have got so good at it, we don’t even know that we are doing it. It brings a new meaning to, “Think before you speak.” Don’t you think?


At times like this, after a really shitty day of people just being cruel to one another, I find refuge in music. I always have. It is my therapy. Laying on my bed listening to Black Hole Sun, I got really emotional. Why are we so vile to one another? Maybe we should assess our own behavior before blaming others. Honestly, you are totally to blame for your life whether you like it or not.

“Aerials, in the sky, when you lose small mind, you free your life”

In life though, you go through peaks and you go through lows. It’s physics pretty much- what goes up, must come down…The laws of the universe. There is nothing we can do to control the outside world. The only thing we can control is how we react to these ups and downs.

We can be hysterical and dramatic and freak out. Or we can just observe the situation, accept it and move on. No, this does not mean not feeling anything. It doesn’t mean shutting yourself off and becoming numb.

“I’ve become so numb.”

It just means be healthy. So many people are screwed up, depressed, detached, because they are still recovering from some form of hurt. Or maybe, suppressing some sort of hurt that they can’t get over. Say it with me, ladies and gents: let it go!


Lately, I’ve reached a place where I really don’t see any situation as good or bad. Why? Well, without going into too much detail, I was a heartbroken girl at one point. I seriously had my heart ripped out of my chest and then stomped on for good measure. This heartbreak, however, led to my trip to Hong Kong. It was meant to just be a holiday, but it’s ended up being so much more than that.  In a weird way, I am grateful to my ex-asshole because it led to this new life of mine. Which I truly love.

“Fill in my resignation for my permanent vacation.”

When something really awful happens, just try to realize that, maybe in time, something good will come out of it. Yes ok, there are some terrible situations that are so unfortunate and I am not making light of anybody’s problems. However, sometimes, you will hate something happening to you now, but eventually, you will think, thank God that happened!


BUT, when you are in the thick of an emotional breakdown thinking, “Oh it will get better” is pretty impossible. In my last blog I said that music was a foolproof cure, however….you have to be careful of the type of music.

I grew up in the emo era and I loved it, I still do! My Chemical Romance, Green Day, Muse, Linkin Park and more.  All those guys who sang out our angst that we were all desperately in love with. There are hundreds of memes about the emo era, and people criticize it, but there is something so romantic about it. It’s the self-destruction of it all. I remember when I was bullied in school I would go home and listen to Linkin Park and end up feeling even more miserable. However, at the time I didn’t notice it.

Going back to my last heartbreak…while driving to my old job, a musical theatre/funk track randomly came on my playlist. I walked into work with a smile on my face and a spring in my step. I realized that if I wanted to feel happier I needed to listen to happier stuff. So I did. Enter EDM, Pop, Funk, Musical Theatre, and I really started to feel damn good.


Even though I love rock and wanted to listen to my old school emo, I resisted temptation because I needed to feel better. So I stand by what I said; music is a cure. But you don’t get the flu and take medication for athletes foot and expect to be cured. The cure worked, and now I can go for my morning run and blast my old school angst once again.


But that is just me, and my experience and perception of life and what helps me. People have been through much worse and need different things to cope. For some it’s booze, some it’s partying, for some it’s sex, for some it’s church. Stick to whatever it is that saves you. Find refuge however you need to because you cannot change the world. But you can change how you view it and what you do in it!

I just ask you to not give up. Keep doing what keeps you sane and don’t let the haters get you down. There are negative people out there that can drain you of your magnetism. Plants have been known to die around them. Don’t allow them into your circle. Do what uplifts you and keep doing it. It will get better. It always does!

“I am not afraid to keep on living, I am not afraid to walk this world alone.”

Kat Coetzee