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Aye, caramba, muchachos, The Three Amigos are still thinking of the ride by El Callaniante on Thursday when the Irish El Cordobes of Hong Kong racing, took matters into his own Iron Man hands and won at 15 to 1 for all the squealing señoritas and señors last Thursday at Happy Valley. The Three Amigos squealed like ladyboys riding a pogo stick.

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Until El Callaniante took off like Usain Bolt in the night’s distance race on Sharp Sailor, Margaritaville had become more like Siestaville. Even usually loco mio race caller John El Blanco Blance was chillaxed and understandable to even us Three Amigos who The Doñaldo is trying to keep out with his big wall. El Blanco has hit his stride and we bow in front of him with our magnificent capes for slowing down to enjoy his work and the tofu enchiladas.

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Things got even more dreary when Works Of Art became a doodle. But we suddenly awoke when El Callaniante shrieked out, YEAH, BABY! and there was, once again, joy in the Valley.

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There was more joy when, as we predicted, 2 to 1 favourite Green Card must have run into The Doñaldo’s brick wall and didn’t even run place.

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Some advice to the HKJC: There must be a muchos better way of communicating to Happy Wednesday regulars when there is no Happy Wednesday. These are mainly bambinos to horse racing who wouldn’t know a quinella from a quesadilla and Rapper Dragon from the Wu Tang Clan. They have no idea what the HKJC’s website looks like, nor do they want to, and so turn up on a Wednesday for a Happy Wednesday experience only to discover that- caramba- there’s nothing going on. Like following all the tipsters and continuing to lose, lose, lose, these muchachos will not keep backing loco losing experiences. They have choices and will vamoose forever to more permanent fun places.

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On the plus side, however, regular guitarzan at Adrenaline, Jay, who reminds us of Chaka Khan, won the consolation Six Up which paid over $12,000 for his outlay of $120. That’s a good profit in any language- even Spanish.

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As for today’s races, yes, Pakistan Star should win race three of the afternoon. Once this happens, it should erase all that premature “viral” hoo ha that became more of an albatross around this quirky galloper’s neck, and get the potentially exciting purchase for owner Señor Din back into the good books of local punters, who have backed and lost following this horse at his last three outings where he never started at anything more than $1.50. That’s nada to make a song and dance about.

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Today, however, at set weights, a new jockey in Joao Moreira, and what looks like very ordinary competition, Pakistan Star has everything going for him. Even if he does win, however, it needs to be a demolition derby job. This can’t be seen as just an exercise gallop. If he’s to just scrape in, or, aye yai yai, lose, Pakistan Star better run in the Boston Marathon. The Three Amigos will grab some stools, munch on our burritos, and as our old amigo Chauncey Gardner was so fond of doing, just watch. Don’t you like to watch?

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We’re far more interested in the last race of the eleven race card where a number of highly rated and muchos expensive purchases will be seen for the first time. Most eyes, especially our Al Martino Spanish Eyes, will be on the John Moore-trained Beauty Generation, the handsome Antonio Banderas looking son of Road To Rock, who raced as Montaigne in Sydney.

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With El Zaco in the saddle, this galloper probably holds most interest. And though it definitely needs longer than the 1400 metres it tackles here, señor Moore is a smart hombre. He will have the horse at least 80 percent fit which might be enough to win this. But the short overnight odds has us puzzled. Que?

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This will also be much too short a race for another first starter- the Caspar Fownes-trained stallion Raghu, who came a very close third on soft going in the Group 1 2016 New Zealand Derby. Ignore him this time and do a lucky Mexican Hat Dance before this race so you can go back to the ranchero with muchos dollar signs bulging out of your Al Martino eyes.

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Making his long-awaited Hong Kong debut in the race is last year’s Group 2 WATC Derby runner up Who Dat Singa, a fairly expensive purchase, who’s in the care of trainer Ricardo Montalban Gibson, currently having a siesta at the bottom of the trainers table. And, yes, as also predicted, Ricardo, going through a very lean trot, didn’t train a winner last Thursday at Happy Valley as some thought he would. Maybe he’s spending too much time with Tattoo on Fantasy Island?

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Also in the race is the John Size runner My Darling, which disappointed last time out, but could have just been pining for amor. This race looks perfecto for the race-fit darling boy to flex his muscles under the care of señor Joao.

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Reading between the lines, and between the satin sheets, this race is more of a warmup and prenup before these horses’ real missions. If they win without busting their ballzaronis, fine, but this race, in many ways, is a preview of things to come with the future Classic races in mind. The real enchilada is just how well they perform this afternoon on Hong Kong soil. The owners have spent millions on these purchases with some never ever having won a major race in Hong Kong. They have much riding on how well their horses perform this afternoon- namely pride, and with some no doubt having sleepless nights about not ending up with a Spanish omelette on their faces if any of their investments run like Pancho Villa wearing platform wedges.

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What do we think about today’s races? Muchos tough to figure out, but this is very good as there will be muchos value, especially in race eleven if the hot tamales go flat and cold.

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The jockeys to follow are as always El Zaco and señor Joao from São Paulo, but leave out El Callaniante, the horribly nice El Craigo Williams, and for real value, Derek KC Leung, our favourite local rider. Now, amigos, go forth and multiply and bring home the crispy bacon for mama.

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RACE 1
(1)- 3-4-7-12

These Class 5 curtain raisers might have some slow horses, but offer some huge Quartet payouts with usually a couple of longshots running into the first four. But which ones, muchachos? It’s all a bit of a lottery and not really worth expending too much thought figuring out form. Follow the odds. As a banker, we’ll take Happy Fiery Dragon (1) and Rugby Diamond (3) as double bankers onto 4-5 runners at big odds which those in the know pile on the money just before the off. A race worth playing for a small investment and hoping for a big payout.

Cock-eyed optimists welcome.

RACE 2
1-6-7-9

Another Class 5 affair which Imperial Seal (1) has a great chance of taking out. Value chance: Gentlemen (6) which with five other runners takes a class drop.

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RACE 3
1-2-3/2-1-3

D-Day for Pakistan Star, which could turn out to be a battle of tactics between señor Joao and El Zaco.

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RACE 4
1-3-9-8

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RACE 5
9-8-4-14

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RACE 6
1-7-9-2

Could this be a 1-7 stable quinella for trainer Ricky Yiu?

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RACE 7
1-2-14-12

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RACE 8
6-7-9-1

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RACE 9
13-10-4-8

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RACE 10
2-12-13-11

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RACE 11
8-12-13-9

BEST BET
Race 2: Imperial Seal (1)

NEXT BEST
Race 8: Quinella place: DB Pin (6) Fairy Twins (7)

LONGSHOT
Race 10: Déjà Vu (11)

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SIX UP

R6: 1-7
R7: 1-2-4-12-14
R8: 6-7
R9: 8-10-13
R10: 2-11-12
R11: 8-12-13

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PARTING SHOT

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