THE THREE AMIGOS GO LOOKING FOR VALUE IN THE VALLEY 1

Us, Three Amigos rolled a little Cheech and Chong and were enjoying our mama’s paella last night while watching the three hombres- JAB- John, Andrew and Brett- on the HKJC-produced tipping upside down programme called “Raging Bull To Ween”.

THE THREE AMIGOS GO LOOKING FOR VALUE IN THE VALLEY 2

With muchos dollaros spent on a Christmas setting for this episode from the Ebenezer Scrooge For The Performing Arts, alas, missing in action was our favourite hombre Paul “Dilly” Lally, below in his wet suit, who might have been having a siesta after a long pre-Feliz Navidad lunch at the Argentinian steak house Pampas.

THE THREE AMIGOS GO LOOKING FOR VALUE IN THE VALLEY 3

All was going hokay until we skipped not wanting to know about the first two races, and nearly choked when someone mentioned that trainer Richard Gibson could train the winners of races 3 and 4 on tonight’s card. Holy muchachos, hombres, let’s not get Pancho Villa-ed!

THE THREE AMIGOS GO LOOKING FOR VALUE IN THE VALLEY 4

Such kidders, those three hombres! But, holy tequilas, burritos, what’s happened to amigo Ricardo Montalban Gibson? We had forgotten he was still in Hong Kong. He’s become the new Sean Woods. Someone tried to tell us he hasn’t trained a winner since September, which sounds like that lovely old song, “The Twelfth Of Never”. If true, we’re sure it won’t be long before Señor Ricardo clicks his castanets into place, stamps his boots of Spanish leather and does a winning flamenco dance across the floor like a proud and preening Jose Greco.

THE THREE AMIGOS GO LOOKING FOR VALUE IN THE VALLEY 5

After all, this is the official trainer of billionaire owner and the extremely generous Pan Sutong who’s said to have bet $8 million- chump change for him- on his horse Giant Treasure after, apparently, being told that he would most definitely win the Hong Kong Mile during the HKIR. That $8 million went Adios probably even before the race was run, but we’re more interested in what magic Señor Ricardo will weave so that one of our longtime amigo’s new horses that used to race in Western Australia as Who Dat Singa- he was runner up in this year’s WATC Derby – accomplishes his mission up here by winning the Hong Kong Derby.

THE THREE AMIGOS GO LOOKING FOR VALUE IN THE VALLEY 6

The muchos expensive purchase is said to have had a few minor setbacks, and is yet to race, but we’re sure that this is a sneaky plot to make everyone think that the horse has suddenly turned into a burro. Our amigo has such high expectations for his new Singa that anything less than winning the Derby will be, how you say, a massive shock to the system.

THE THREE AMIGOS GO LOOKING FOR VALUE IN THE VALLEY 7

It will be worse than the shock of Kanye West tearing “Bohemian Rhapsody” to shreds. Never heard Yeezy’s version? Whew! Lucky, muchachos.

THE THREE AMIGOS GO LOOKING FOR VALUE IN THE VALLEY 8

Still watching JAB, pictured below with their friend Dorothy, we could not believe our ears when El Zaco Purton actually said that his ride in race 3 had trialled lousy. Sometimes, El Zaco, he becomes El Loco…

THE THREE AMIGOS GO LOOKING FOR VALUE IN THE VALLEY 9

Usually, when discussing his rides, and because jockeys can’t teep, El Zaco says something that doesn’t mean anything, but this news got us so excited we wanted to bathe in a tub full of sangria and go up in smoke. But maybe El Zaco was having a joke with us and Generous Bobo will win with all four legs in the air. But we doubt it.

THE THREE AMIGOS GO LOOKING FOR VALUE IN THE VALLEY 10

Question: Why do so many horses in Hong Kong have the name Bobo in their English names? It sounds like something Charo might say: I want a beeg Bobo, cuchie cuchie coo.

THE THREE AMIGOS GO LOOKING FOR VALUE IN THE VALLEY 11

Getting back to the racing, Race 3 is the first leg of the Seeex Up and nothing ever goes according to plan even with the help of clever tepees from the three RTW hombres. Twelve teepees for each race is ninety seeeex times too muchos teepee information for the little minds of us Three Amigos. Way too much information.

'I've found this lump on my testicle, would you like to have a look?'

Nearly every race tonight will have many doing The Joao Moreira, olé olé, The Joao Moreira, olé olé, but we read somewhere that as we approach winter, Joao Moreira has olé olé weighty problems with Brazilian puddings. Or something like that. So, though he’ll maybe ride one or two winners- we don’t think it will be Green Card, something The Doñaldo will never grant the Three Amigos because he’s building a big wall to keep us out- we’ll be looking at the rides of Silvestre de Sousa, Vincenzo Ho, maybe Señor Prebble, El Zaco and Señorita Kei Kei.

THE THREE AMIGOS GO LOOKING FOR VALUE IN THE VALLEY 13

Last weekend we did a Mexican Hat Dance when our Best Bet- Bad Boy- and Next Best Bet- Money Boy- saluted and we’ll do the same tonight if any of our choices below help us snare a Felize Navidad Seeeex Up or Treeeple Trio Los Panchos, or even think a Trebelo will be full of Value At The Valley. But we’ll be just as happy if we skip the light Mexican fandango with one of these fine señoritas at the Beer Garden helped by some Jose Cuevo fire in our big bellies.

THE THREE AMIGOS GO LOOKING FOR VALUE IN THE VALLEY 14

THE THREE AMIGOS GO LOOKING FOR VALUE IN THE VALLEY 15

THE THREE AMIGOS GO LOOKING FOR VALUE IN THE VALLEY 16

THE THREE AMIGOS GO LOOKING FOR VALUE IN THE VALLEY 17


RACE 1
5-4-2-7

THE THREE AMIGOS GO LOOKING FOR VALUE IN THE VALLEY 18

RACE 2
5-11-2-7

Same as above.

THE THREE AMIGOS GO LOOKING FOR VALUE IN THE VALLEY 19

RACE 3
4-11-5-7

We have Never Better on top purely because Moreira might just help it win. But these first legs of the Six Up are usually a lottery whereas we’d be watching how Generous Bobo does after being described by El Zaco as having trialled like a bit of a dud. We don’t have a clue what might happen here.

THE THREE AMIGOS GO LOOKING FOR VALUE IN THE VALLEY 20

RACE 4
1-2-4-8

Not only has Matty Chadwick lost the ride on Pakistan Star, he’s been replaced on the same owner’s Pakistan Baby (2) which is racing down a class and with Silvestre de Sousa aboard. The galloper should at least run a place against a pretty average lot. There’s no Maurice here, ok.

Horse five to win, unless they change the jockey.

RACE 5
3-5-6-12

John Size is a terrific horseman and picks his riders extremely well. His Works Of Art is a great chance for Vincent Ho to paint his masterpiece or “do” a Van Gogh.

'Maybe if you cut off an ear it would look better.'

RACE 6
11-10-8-1

Probably the toughest race on the card where it will all come down to strategy and the survival of the fittest. Or the loneliness of the long distance runner.

THE THREE AMIGOS GO LOOKING FOR VALUE IN THE VALLEY 23

RACE 7
5-12-8-4

This could turn out to be a Wonderful Journey (5) for Kei Chiong- get to the front and go like the clappers. Watch out for The Poon Train, Kei- Matthew Poon. The kid returns to Hong Kong from riding very successfully in Adelaide for his master down there- trainer Richard Jolly.

THE THREE AMIGOS GO LOOKING FOR VALUE IN THE VALLEY 24

RACE 8
12-8-1-10

Hopefully, Joao Moreira plays Santa Claus and sends us Ho Ho Ho home with a Super Turbo charged Christmas pressie. Either that or Iron Man Callan delivers trainer Tony Cruz with an early birthday present by winning on his last start winner Verbinsky (8).

THE THREE AMIGOS GO LOOKING FOR VALUE IN THE VALLEY 25

BEST BET
Race 5: Works Of Art (3)

NEXT BEST
Race 8: Super Turbo (12)

LONGSHOT
Race 6: Allcash (11)

THE THREE AMIGOS GO LOOKING FOR VALUE IN THE VALLEY 26

SIX UP

THE THREE AMIGOS GO LOOKING FOR VALUE IN THE VALLEY 27

R3: 2-4-5-10-11
R4: 1-2-4
R5: 3
R6: 3-5-8-10-11
R7: 5
R8: 8-12

THE THREE AMIGOS GO LOOKING FOR VALUE IN THE VALLEY 28

PARTING SHOT

THE THREE AMIGOS GO LOOKING FOR VALUE IN THE VALLEY 29