* Magician extraordinaire David Blaine hangs with us at the Beer Garden and Adrenaline and tells us who will the Quartet in every race, the Triple Trio and the Six Up on a night when huge jackpots are up for grabs.

David Blaine

* If there is to be another Batman movie, part of the filming takes place during a Happy Wednesday at the Beer Garden with the main stars being Christian Bale, Jennifer Lawrence, Jack Nicholson. Kate Beckinsale, Halle Berry, Charlize Theron and Kendall Jenner.


* Here’s wishing those winning presentation ceremonies not be the stodgy, one-dimensional affairs they currently are- photo opportunities ignored by racegoers. Let’s have the current yawnfests include acrobats, Marvel characters and, passé as they are today, break dancers as Shake It Up is played very loudly and the winning connections dance with each other with lotsa twerking going on.

Acrobatic Gymnasts Team China

* Instead of overtly officious security personnel from the age of the dinosaurs, these be replaced for three race meetings by Chippendale dancers and Victoria’s Secret models. Promise. This will see a huge upsurge in turnover.


* Instead of those bright and kinda trashy silks, all jockeys wear a different outfit for every race- sometimes designer suits- Versace, Armani, Hugo Boss, Cerruti etc- another time, hoodies, for another race, dressed as their favourite superhero, for another race, dressed as Cher etc.


* All HKJC racing officials and every trainer- including Andy Leung- participate onstage at the Beer Garden in a Hollywood Bling/Drake Dance-Off. In the middle of it all, Drake appears and dances with Sean Woods and outgoing Executive Director of Racing Bill Nader.

bill nader

* A band comprising Slash, Dave Grohl, Rihanna, Flea, Jack White and Prince make a surprise appearance for one night only at Adrenaline.


* If there is a shortage of jockeys, some of the trainers who were once jockeys, led by former champion Hong Kong jockey Tony Cruz, do their part to make up the numbers. Of course, they’ll only be available for extremely heavyweight rides- and which they’ll ride thirty pounds over.

young tony cruz

now tony cruz

* We can turn into the Incredible Hulk when we run into the occasional group of bovver boys at the Beer Garden and hurl them into the giant wasteland of Wanchai where they’re rugby tackled by the area’s extremely tough Nepalese bouncers and bodyguards.


* The age limit is lowered and we can be Big Brothers and Sisters to a hundred orphans and thousands of less privileged to a Happy Wednesday night.


* We work with Apple to create an incredible app called the iHappyWednesday that brings the world together.


* Horse lover Taylor Swift appears onstage of the Beer Garden riding her favourite white horse.

white horse

* We walk around the Beer Garden with the entire cast of Star Wars.


* For a Christmas pressie, at least one of us starts to date Jennifer Lawrence and introduces her to a Happy Wednesday night. And then we quickly go home to fool around and see in Christmas.

Jennifer Lawrence

Have a Peaceful and Happy Christmas!