THE DARK SIDE OF HONG KONG NIGHT LIFE 1

DAY FOR NIGHTLIFE 1

So, who are three Indians and one Brit that are the money people behind The Takeover Of Wanchai- and why is more and more money pumped into losing propositions? Wait: I know, but was being a smart arse.

DAY FOR NIGHTLIFE 2

The latest joint to become part of their empire was longtime holdout Amazonia, the always-packed cattle market and regular haunt for some of the most highly-paid executives in town who enjoy having intellectual conversations with Smurfettes from the Philippines and Indonesia while a covers band makes believe they’re Guns’N Roses.

DAY FOR NIGHTLIFE 3

It’s all extremely creepy, but it’s a winning combination with the acquisition of this wonderful cattle market joining the Nepalese-managed business gang bang that also includes Escape, the whacky downmarket venue pretending to be upmarket in Rio, the very late night weird playground heaving with the cities desperadoes that is Players, the New Joe Bananas that is no difference from the limp old Joe Bananas. along with Graffiti in Central.

On the subject of bananas, one understands that the New Joe Bananas has got stale and bent very quickly, and with most of the staff it poached from neighbour Spicy Fingers returning to home base.

Elsewhere in Wanchai, HK Cafe does a throbbing good turnover with its mix of youngish Filipinas to entertain gweilo pensioners while a six piece all-girl group play-act at being the Runaways and three brothers from the Dark Continent try to pass for being brothers from the US.

DAY FOR NIGHTLIFE 5b

It’s harmless play-acting and where at 4am everything looks and sounds better than it is. It’s an illusion created by mirrors. Or booze.

DAY FOR NIGHTLIFE 6

At the other side of town- PMQ, to be exact- come horror stories about the much-hyped and hugely overrated “organic” restaurant Sohomama where, say some of the designers of the venue, their payment has not been exactly “organic” with millions owed for work completed.

DAY FOR NIGHTLIFE 7

This must be a filthy lie though, to be brutally frank, Sohomama’s food is so-so, mama whereas the place seems to have been designed without any thought put into customer needs.

Then again, all of PMQ is a badly-designed pastiche and “homage” to amateurism that has quickly become passé to many in Hong Kong.

DAY FOR NIGHTLIFE 8

Let’s just hope and pray that when the much-delayed Central Police Station project finally opens, there will be no Mr Bean-type of bumbling mistakes and enough restaurants, bars and whatever else needed to be one of Hong Kong better attractions.

The question many keep asking is that if this project is not for the regulars of Lan Kwai Fong, Soho and Wyndham Street- and, jeez, those African drug dealers in Central have become even more contemptuous of our local gendarmes in how openly they approach passers by offering a buffet of drugs- who will this heritage building located smack dab on Old Bailey Street attract?

DAY FOR NIGHTLIFE 9

As for Little Africa in Central selling drugs, soon, they’ll be using loud speakers to promote their products with the police still acting like that deaf, dumb and blind kid named Tommy who played a mean cornball.

DAY FOR NIGHTLIFE 10

Returning to Wanchai, that Welsh singer bloke named Ben Semmens who was well-known for barely avoiding scraps at Players and Carnegie’s had the rug pulled from under him by his minders.

Apparently tired of his drama queen antics, he was fired from his gig with the Hong Kong Jockey Club and bundled onto a plane with a one-way ticket outta here.

Altogether now: Awwwwww.