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They’re not exactly One Direction or even Engelbert Humperdinck, but I can safely say that they are THE most uncool band in Hong Kong- perhaps in the world- but, so uncool that they are cool in a weird David Lynch/Twin Peaks film noire kinda way.

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The band has a name but I forget what it is as it’s, well, forgettable, but what I can’t help but admire, albeit in a kinda sadly funny way, is their gig which is being the backing band for pretty “mature” amateur karaoke singers at a little-known club called Fifties and located on Lyndhurst Terrace, having had to move from its original venue in California Tower.

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Except for Sundays, the band, where the youngest member must be in their mid-Fifties, stands there and backs up those longing for the good old days- old time local recording executives, one-time singers, businessmen entertaining their mistresses, drunken local oldies unable to hold their liquor or a tune etc.

The band’s boredom is easy to see along with the keyboardist, and only Chinese member in this all-Filipino outfit that look like the Bad and the Ugly from The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, looking at every wannabe singer that waddles up onstage and attempt to sing with complete disdain.

One cannot blame him as almost all are absolute shockers- but, hey, the stage is theirs as they’ve paid for the drinks and this rare opportunity to be Cliff or Tom or Teresa Teng or, gawd forbid, The Beatles, the Eagles or, The Clash.

The only time the band springs into mild action, and the drummer wakes up from his siesta, is when no one shows up onstage and they are allowed to perform on their own.

Are they any good?

Let’s just say that, for their age, they’re enthusiastic- and brave. Very brave.

It’s where, for a few minutes, the Filipina mama can be Katy Perry or Rihanna or Lady Antebellum whereas the main vocalist, who hates to be outshone by some amateur- and it does happen when the younger brigade or real musos show up for some camp fun- dons on shades and tries to outdo Joe Cocker and Ray Charles- combined. Spooky, man.

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It’s not rock and roll, it’s not exactly clubbing, but a night at the Fifties- it will cost around $1,500 for four people and four rounds of drinks- is unlike any night anywhere else in Hong Kong for total surreal value.

David Lynch, Tim Burton, Ed Wood/Johnny Depp, Quentin Tarantino, this venue is for you.

Yes, it’s that fucking weird.

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