And on the eighth day, God created sunglasses. Sunglasses have totally saved my life in multiple cases. These are God’s inventions that allow you to avoid the crowd, walk of shame, that girl you don’t want to say hi to, and the outside world. And it’s a perfect pair for a person like myself who suddenly pretends to text a friend when meeting a stranger’s eyes on the road.

After spending a gorgeous sunny day at a pool party during the weekend, here’s my proper thanks and an ode to sunglasses, an invention for self conscious souls.

God created sunglasses 1

1.When it’s so sunny that you can’t even open your eyes without frowning

Hong Kong does rain like an emotional 18 year olds girl who just broke up with her boyfriend, weeping 24/7, but when the sun’s out, it’s as piercing as the one in equator. Not really, but Really. Without sunglasses, it’s hard to walk around without looking furious though things are more than fine.

God created sunglasses 2

2.On the way to hungover brunch

You feel bloated, your eyes are swollen, your breathe still smells of alcohol and cigarette even after shower. Yeah, you’ve had too much of a big party last night. When in need of greasy and boozy brunch, and perhaps a glass of bloody mary with extra hot sauce, wear sunglasses to cover your face. It’ll lessen your hangover.

3.When you want to look cool

Sunglasses tend to make a person look 30% better than he/she really does. In occasions when you are hanging out in a local coffee shop, reading a book by the pool, or just want to look hot for no particular reason, expecting somebody to hit on you, put it on, and never take it off.

God created sunglasses 3

4.When you need to run a quick errand and are not wearing a makeup

The worst thing is running into your crush, ex-boyfriend, hot neighbour, or well, anyone, when you think you are out on the street for a second, and nobody will see you. It’s necessary to rock your sunglasses in such cases. No one will and should know you skipped on eye liners, or foundation.

God created sunglasses 4

5.When you want to pull out your chronic bitch face

I’m a person with a chronic bitch face problem, which means even when I’m perfectly fine, or lost in thought, people think I’m mad; I try really hard to keep a smiley face and it gets tiring. Then I put my sunglasses on, to avoid showing that look to any innocent people on the street.

Sleeping teenagers wearing sunglasses

6.When you are pretending to be awake

I hate to admit this, but when I’m awfully tired, I sit-sleep anywhere with sunglasses on. Because of my irregular and often late night working hours, sometimes I don’t sleep for three consecutive days, with tiny little power naps like this in-between. Struggle is real when you are fighting to keep the eyes open, but nobody knows what’s going on behind those shades.

God bless whoever invented sunglasses. X

Stella Ko

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