I have been single for quite a long time for some debatable reasons; yet, I am neither ashamed of my relationships status, nor saddened by it. I always know how to entertain myself – not in the kinky way you are probably thinking right now – and keep myself occupied with the things and people I value.

I cannot say that there wasn’t a single moment where I wished I was with somebody- but I can, at least, say that I have been better off since I started focusing on MY life and not on some seemingly never-ending mission to find my significant other.

However, what frustrates me is the question, “Why are you single?” generally followed up by, “You are just so awesome/funny/smart/cute/sweet! I just don’t get it!”

I know that this query is laced with good intent, but even a soft blow is still a blow.

Then the answer springs to mind. “Oh, I don’t know, I guess it’s because NO ONE LIKES ME.”

I usually flush pink with embarrassment, laugh nervously, and stumble over replies like, “I don’t know.”


I’m still single probably because I’m too driven in my career and spend more time smooching my computer than I do humans.

I’m probably still single because I rarely get time off work and, even when I do, I would rather spend it on going out with my close friends, catching up on sleep I have been missing, blogging, or working out.

I’m probably still single because most guys I come across are real jerks.

I’m probably single because I am just not lonely in a way that there is no space for someone new in my life.


When people ask, “Why are you (still) single,” they sound as if there’s something seriously wrong with me, and I haven’t worked hard enough to “prevent myself” from being single.

What’s wrong with being single and enjoying my life?

I might as well hang a sign around my neck saying, “I’m normal- really, I promise. Don’t pity me, you don’t know my life.”

Then there comes an accusation of being too “picky.”

Am I?

One of my friends has told me – as if he really knows what he’s talking about -, “I see how it is. You are waiting for the right one, huh?”

Excuse me, but my boyfriend checklist consists of three requirements:

1. He’s alive. 2. I’m attracted to him. 3. He’s not a serial killer.

Now, let me ask you again. Am I picky?

Truth be told, I don’t care. Maybe I’m a b*tch. Maybe a relationship is not my priority and I dont need a man at the moment.

Maybe I need to put myself out there and hope somebody would pick me up.

But why?

All I know is that I’m one fine ass single lady.


So leave me alone, or don’t. But just stop asking me why I’m still single.

Lastly, to my dear childhood buddy who said, “If you’re still single at thirty eight, I’ll marry you,” Wait.

WHAT? YOU WILL? HALLELUJAH! Thank you for taking pity on me. I’m so glad that you made such a huge decision “for” me- completely disregarding “my” opinion- because you are such a great guy and I would be so lucky to marry you, right?

How could I possibly say no to this generous offer?

You are without a doubt my hero.


Stella Ko

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