Last summer, I received an email that changed my life.

“Congratulation, you won a day pass at newly opened branch of Pure Yoga.” And I thought, “What, Yoga?” thinking that it’s for those ‘good’ people who are constantly on detox, and believe in reincarnation. Then I decided to try it out in the end, not only because it was a free pass any ways, but also because I would like to look good in those pretty yoga pants. Little did I know that I would continue for a year, actually becoming a dedicated Yogi. Let me tell you bits I know about Yoga.

yoga 1

First, honey, it’s not all about flexibility, but strength. Those people who put their legs around their neck, touch their heads with toes, and spread their legs to a straight line? Well, you will become one of them at least after half a year of daily practice, but maybe and most likely, not. But what I can tell you from my own experience is that you will gain a lot of muscles. From my tip to toe is full of hard muscle, and when I straighten my arm, you can see lines and figures of muscle, guns and biceps and all. After 3-4 months of very focused practice, I can now do crow pose, resting and lifting your body on both arms, which I’m so proud of.

Listen, guys, If you think yoga’s for gays and you are just gonna go gym for chicks, you are mistaken. I’ve seen so many hot straight guys and girls in my classes who are both flexible and strong, while I’m looking like a little struggling penguin, trying to fly and sweating like a shower, next to them. Yoga will actually make you get ripped, or toned quickly, because you are strengthening your muscle, while reducing the mass of your fat.

While practicing yoga, because it takes a lot more concentration and mind control than most people think, nobody really cares about how they look in class, or about how others look; it’s very rare and inappropriate to go to classes expecting a pick up line from a neighbour, and I actually don’t want someone to stare at me, covered with sweat, and panting like a horny dog. I just hope that person in front of me wouldn’t fart during his downward facing dog. NO.

yoga 2

I see a lot of people practicing yoga for weight loss but after months, the satisfying results came not from body, but more from cleansing of my mind. Whenever I was stressed out, had to deal with sick people, or was feeling confused and moody for no reason, I went to practice yoga and sweat them all off for hours, get a green smoothie in-between, and I knew that everything was going to be alright. I only thought about my breathing, and posture, and let go of the troubles I had, even though that level of concentration also took some time to reach.

I do sometimes tell myself that I should quit drinking and start eating healthy more often, but one of the greatest joys in my life is to grab a refreshing glass of white wine after hours of practise. Hungover yoga is also a great way to feel good about myself. On a saturday morning at 8AM, I would drag my hungover body to class, chugging a bottle of cold water. I look around the class-full of people telling me with their join-the-club-eyes, and realise, “oh, I’m not alone.” Yoga is the BEST proven hangover cure. So here I am, debunking the urban myth of ‘those who practice yoga lead a healthy guilt-free life.’

yoga 3

Hot Yoga classes will suffocate you, and I’m not joking. They try VERY F***king hard to create a close replica of Southern India, or middle of Sahara dessert with no Oasis nearby, in a room packed with sweating people, breathing even hotter air into it. It’s much better if you drink a lot of water and sleep enough before the class, and after months, it doesn’t even feel that hot anymore. Yet, if you want to experience losing an exceeding amount of your bodily fluid, burning skin, and an intense will and patience to survive, this is what you should go for.

Also, yoga pants became parts of my body, because I wear this literally to EVERYWHERE, to bed, yoga classes, grocery store, bar, library, and what not. I can show off my ass for sure, but what I really love about them is that these pants are so tight and comfortable that I call them my second skin. They are my favourite pajamas, work out clothes, and going out clothes.

yoga 4

The idea of bettering and solely focusing on myself attracted me on so many levels; no other activities make you feel so good about yourself both spiritually and physically.

I’m in my bed, wearing yoga pants of course, writing this piece at such an early morning, or late night, and I might as well go join 6AM class for the sake of myself. “It’s Yoga time, baby.”

Stella Ko

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