Yes, I hate to admit this but I’ve been a user of Tinder for few months. I absolutely despise all sorts of online dating apps and websites but I especially find Tinder even more disgusting, and that’s why I joined Tinder to fully analyze and diagnose the inner workings of Tinder users. I’m sorry but not sorry for those who have become my sources.

In the beginning, it seemed like an amusing way to kill time, while waiting for a bus, or friends at a cafe; you’ll set the preferred age group and distance and wait for some people to pop up on your screen who you can just swipe to the left or to the right, solely based on how hot or ugly fugly that person looks in his/her profile picture. You have absolutely no idea on that person’s personality or background and you are probably on Tinder because you couldn’t care less about those details.

6 Guys I met on Tinder 1

Well, then things escalated quickly. Guys, whenever it was a match, were messaging me, as if they really wanted to get to know me (sorry honey, I don’t think so); for a research purpose to write this article, I had to suppress my annoyed inner b*tch to tell them to “go home and masturbate” and be nice and appealing to them.

Thank god for my awesome patience; I got to categorize them into 6 different pathetic types. Please excuse my tone here. I always try hard to sound neutral and asexual when writing, but this one will be strictly girly.

6 Guys I met on Tinder 2

Socially inept people

This person, who is way too excited to be your match and to talk to you than he’s supposed to be, obviously has no social life or close friends; he/she has been desperately waiting to make friends online, and does not know how to talk to people. He asks you weird questions that will instantly make you frown or freeze the air, and after exchanging meaningless formal greetings, he already thinks he’s your best friend.

Me-So-Horny

His profile makes it very clear. It says “looking for fun”, “one night stands only”, or “yolo” and all his pictures are either post-shower selfies or half-naked pictures by the beach. He wants you to picture him in bed, with you, making love and what not for god’s sake. I guess it’s a Tinder thing. These things are openly accepted and allowed on Tinder. In fact, in a way, it’s better to say that you are not looking for anything serious than pretending to be a “nice guy” while all you want is to get laid.

6 Guys I met on Tinder 3

A guy who has no chance in real life

Some guys on Tinder actually deserve to be on Tinder since they would not have a chance in real life, well, not even on Tinder. I hate to say this but we all know how most people judge a book by its cover, and especially those Tinder users will definitely not swipe to the right after looking at your picture and brief bio. This person is on Tinder because he doesn’t look attractive, and is a shy, insecure person who only takes group pictures so that you have no idea how he actually looks like. Do I sound too harsh? Whether you like it or not, I AM a very judgmental person, with clear standard to everything. I know what I want, and what I hate, so I’m gonna say it out loud.

Seemingly normal person

Some people, very few though, do look and act pretty normal. You’ll have nice conversation with them, and perhaps find a lot in common, and they will always be polite to you, keeping a little bit of distance. Then you think, “why would someone like him be on Tinder?” He looks pretty cute, plays sports, has a respectable job, loves dogs, and he doesn’t sound like he’s eager to get into your pants. Well, why would he be on Tinder.

6 Guys I met on Tinder 4

“I’m just traveling and I want to get laid in this country” type of guy

His profile says it all. All his pictures are taken somewhere very exotic, or that you don’t recognize, and the status will be something like “first time in hong kong, staying till next tuesday. I’m looking forward to meet fun loving people here.” Furthermore, he will be very straightforward when you two are talking, directly asking you “when can I see you?” or “getting lucky tonight?” since he doesn’t have much time left as if he’s dying out of cancer.

6 Guys I met on Tinder 5

I want a girl friend and you could be mine

Creepers, creepers, and more creepers. He’ll tell you that he LOVES YOU. It doesn’t matter whether he knows a lot about you already or not, since he’s already in love with you for some reason. “You are cute. Do you wanna be my girl friend?” Like I said before, just go home, tuck yourself in bed, and masturbate, calm your horniness down.

I know that there probably are multiple types of Tinder users out there, some nice ones as well, but I’m afraid this is it for me. I can’t stand it anymore and will be deleting this app pretty soon unless I happen to meet some non-clichéd, interesting people to write about.

One of my friends once argued that she has met some pretty nice guys through Tinder, and I asked her, “oh yeah? so what did you guys do?” and guess what, she did nothing but what we are thinking right now, and is no longer talking to them anymore.

6 Guys I met on Tinder 6

What I’m saying is, if you are actually secure, confident person who are willing to meet new people to hang out with, I suggest you go out, to bars, clubs, shisha lounges, and what not to find them in a real world, face them like a real human being, instead of falling in love with fake b*tches online.

Stella Ko

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