Last night, I mistakenly dropped my phone into water basin and already having a huge crack on its screen, my poor old phone came to an end. Since I was dumb enough to not save any of my contacts else where, I spent all day frantically roaming around almost all the repair shops and service center in Mong Kok, to find a way to bring my phone back to life.

Then it made me ponder over how fragile and skill-less I am in Hong Kong even though I now have been living here for almost two years. So, here’s a list of things that I find irritating and distressing.

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1.ngóh m̀hsìk góng gwóngdùngwá (I don’t speak Cantonese)

Yes, I’ve been living here for almost two years, but I still haven’t had a proper chance and time to learn the language and haven’t tried hard enough; besides, majority of local people speak English which makes me feel like it is needless to learn Cantonese, as long as I could get my drunk body home in a cab, and order an edible food in a restaurant. Yet, in certain circumstances, let’s say when you are awfully sick, need help, or have to describe your situation or feeling in details, it drives both me and the other person crazy at how we just CANNOT communicate.

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2.English menu, please

I feel like an illiterate person every time I go out to eat. Unless I eat out in Central or Soho, where even the staffs aren’t Chinese, I always have to ask for an English menu in a local diner which always fails to deliver what the food actually is. #translationfails

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Then I end up choosing something with a picture, some noodles or rice, but it’s sad how I don’t have a courage to randomly order something on the menu that I have no idea what that is.

3.Can you not stare at me and mind your own business?

I always wear my bikini top and Santa claus hat everywhere; it’s my thing and I enjoy people taking pictures of me and staring at me for a long time. No, it is not true and I’m just another person on the street. I might be your neighbour. Yet, whenever people hear me speaking English, and talk on the phone in another language they don’t understand, I feel thousand eyes looking at me. In some occasions, some people were laughing at me and saying something, probably a joke, in Cantonese; they didn’t stop till I gave them a b*tch face.

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4.Chill out, this weather won’t kill you.

Because I’m from a place where it rained or snowed almost everyday throughout the year, I cannot complain about Hong Kong weather. The coldest it gets even during the winter season is what, 10 degrees?

Summer could be a bit annoying with that humidity and all, but come on, we are surrounded by parks, islands, and nice beaches, where we could escape from the heat, or enjoy the heat all over your body. Intense air-conditioning during summer and people wearing fur coat made for a hike to himalaya in winter create a scene.

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Again, I would be one of the few people on the street with less clothing, and people stare at me as if my outfit is against the law.

But I have to say, I love Hong Kong and my life here has so far been more than amazing; in fact, I’m being localised day by day. I used to say Bye, then started saying B’ bye, but have now moved onto a fully fledged B’ baaii. I call for the waitress by waiving your hand and screaming “mgooooi”, and Cafe de Coral is a crucial part of my diet. Last but not least, I’m getting used to queuing.

I’m getting used to Hong Kong.

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