Confession time.

I recently went prostitute bar hopping in Wan Chai – since I couldn’t care less as a girl and besides, it’s a whole new cultural experience in a way – and it was an absolutely interesting night, people watching, and sipping on Vodka Soda all night; I was the ONLY non-prostitute in a club and I personally found it just pathetic how these guys were so desperate to get paid attention and sex.

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“Why not go out and meet real woman?”

You won’t have to pay that huge amount of money

No need or much less need to worry about catching STD

I mean come on guys, this is sad.

Even though my male companions who were there with me debunked my opinion by saying that it actually costs a lot more time and money to find and date a woman while you can just pay the prostitutes and they will sexually please you in any ways you’d like. Also because many guys who come to these bars have no chance in real life. Touché, but I still am bitter about this instant hook up culture. There’s a reason why people choose to go grocery shopping and cook nice meals at home instead of picking up junk food at drive thru.

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Then it got me to think about current dating culture. When I was a kid, cell phone was as big as a bottle of water and it was the luxury of privileged ones, while even 5 year olds carry smart phones swiping them touch screens nowadays. And in such a digital age comes smart dating scene. Easily downloadable apps such as Tinder, Okcupid, and more are where people register themselves with introductions and attractive pictures of them – I love to laugh and I like long walks on the beach -, and meet others either by swiping the users around your location or searching them on your own. But it is widely known fact that they are mostly used as a place to find hook up buddies or one night stand deals. Seriously, all you know and care about is the person’s look and self-description of themselves.

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One college girl I know, who shall remain anonymous, is an avid user of a dating app. She said, “I just want to have fun and I’m not ready for a relationship. What’s wrong with it?” Nobody ever said that she’s doing something wrong but she questioned herself. She has been meeting few different guys every week, first through talking on the app and later on meeting them in person for drinks and whatnot, and many times, “meeting” them involved casual sex. “I won’t see those guys again anyways.” Listening to her proudly presented sex stories with different guys was definitely engaging, but what bothered me was how relationships and communication among people these days have turned so impersonal and insensitive.

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Even on Facebook, I often receive messages from random creeps sending me their nudes and asking me if I want a sugar daddy. Say Whaaaaat? How do you know that I’m not an abusive alcoholic psycho bitch just because you liked my profile picture, eh?

Something’s not right here. Am I the only one bothered by these dating apps? You might be too busy to play mind games, too timid to ask out that guy you find cute, or afraid of being rejected, but I’’m sure that there are better ways to find your significant other than downloading and purchasing someone’s feelings.

If you want something real, put some real effort in.

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Stella Ko