THE DARK SIDE OF HONG KONG NIGHT LIFE 1

WHY I FEAR GOING OUT IN HONG KONG 1

* Too many dudes you have never seen in your life call you “dude”, give you man-hugs and bromance handjive.

WHY I FEAR GOING OUT IN HONG KONG 2

* The fear of getting so pissed you end up in Wanchai and become the middle-aged pisshead you said you’d never ever become and walkaround arm-in-arm with your trophy tranny.

WHY I FEAR GOING OUT IN HONG KONG 3

* Waking up and realizing you’re married to some chick from Manila whom you apparently met at Players the night before and who has just got out of prison.

WHY I FEAR GOING OUT IN HONG KONG 4

* The fear of going from bar to bar and hearing Filipino singers bellowing out Born In The USA while white guys dance the same way white guys can’t jump and more dudes do their dude things.

WHY I FEAR GOING OUT IN HONG KONG 5

* Watching a band in a club with some Black singer playing LOUD and one of your mates screams to you, THAT N***A CANNOT SING”- just when the song ends and everyone thinks you said that.

WHY I FEAR GOING OUT IN HONG KONG 6

* The fear of rejection by some nasty looking fortysomething woman from Discovery Bay on the piss and on the prowl who says, “You’re too old for me” and then checks her ferry schedule.

WHY I FEAR GOING OUT IN HONG KONG 7

* The constant fear of meeting more wankers at the Blue Bar of the Four Seasons who tell you they’re in “finance” but have no name cards as they work for some “very big names” on an “exclusive basis”.

They then leave for the loo, never return and you’re stuck with the bill.

WHY I FEAR GOING OUT IN HONG KONG 8

The fear of buying more “blessed beads” from monks in brown robes and slippers who you later see down Wanchai wearing sneakers, smoking and carving up their take for the night.

WHY I FEAR GOING OUT IN HONG KONG 9