THE DARK SIDE OF HONG KONG NIGHT LIFE 1

We were reading about a new website called Feels Like Home, its focus on attracting tourists from Mainland China to a bankrupt country like Greece and the kinda funky- or hokey- “grading” system it uses when recommending Grecian hotels.

GREASING THE PALMS OF THE MAINLAND CHINESE TOURIST  1
(Source: Forbes)

Instead of stars, Feels Like Home uses, er, dragons and with a five-dragon hotel- not eight dragons for luck- being the best for the Chinese tourist.

feel like home

(Source: Feel Like Home)

So, what does the Mainland Chinese tourist get other that a pair of flip-flops, chopsticks and a bowl of rice? Char siu and some Hainan Chicken? It doesn’t say. Still, one lives in hope.

GREASING THE PALMS OF THE MAINLAND CHINESE TOURIST  3
(Source: The Sun Daily)

Also on the laundry list of items are all kinds of Chinese teas, soya sauce, garlic, black bean, oyster and hoisin sauces, soybean paste and sesame oil, soy milk, congee, dim sum, a Chinese television channel, a Chinese online homepage plus at least one Chinese- speaking member of staff, Chinese electrical appliances in every room etc.

GREASING THE PALMS OF THE MAINLAND CHINESE TOURIST  4
(Source: Beauty Talk)

Whaaah? No casino? Nothing to bet on? No races broadcast from Hong Kong or Macau? No bookies? No in-room “masseuse” services where one can go Greek?

GREASING THE PALMS OF THE MAINLAND CHINESE TOURIST  5
(Source: Blox Images)

Of course, many in Hong Kong and Macau know that when a group of Mainland tourists vacate their rooms, it’s in worse shape than having had the ghosts of Keith Moon and John Bonham partying inside them all night long and throwing television sets into swimming pools.

GREASING THE PALMS OF THE MAINLAND CHINESE TOURIST  6
(Source: 5 Minutes For Mom)

What is missing from all these initiatives to entice Mainland Chinese tourists- and what we have learnt over the years as we have plowed our way through the debris left behind by these farmers from the North- are the following:

1) Permission to bring ‘live’ poultry into their rooms. Many Mainland Chinese tourists don’t travel anywhere without some clucking chickens.

GREASING THE PALMS OF THE MAINLAND CHINESE TOURIST  7
(Source: Vitamin Ha)

2) Spitting, loud belching and farting anywhere must be welcomed along with children being allowed to urinate all over the place. Piss off takes on an entirely new meaning.

3) Every hotel MUST have an endless supply of toothpicks. Speaking LOUDLY with a toothpick in one’s mouth is mandatory.

GREASING THE PALMS OF THE MAINLAND CHINESE TOURIST  10
(Source: Blog Doddan)

4) The freedom to hang their laundry outta all rooms and suites. Who needs laundry service?

GREASING THE PALMS OF THE MAINLAND CHINESE TOURIST  8
(Source: TW Img)

5) If there is an Ikea showroom in the hotel mall, the Mainland Chinese tourist must be allowed to follow the new trend in their homeland of sleeping on one of the beds.

GREASING THE PALMS OF THE MAINLAND CHINESE TOURIST  9
(Source: Here Is Beijing)

Feels Like Home is an interesting idea and hats off to co-founder Nicholas Triantafyllidis and his three partners for getting this off the ground.

However, if they need something to REALLY fly, the trio should get an injection of funds, build a small casino or open a race track in some paddy field and Greece will happen quicker than greased lightning.