We were actually thinking that the word “dummies” might be taken as derogatory until we received so much feedback from, well, dummies, about horse racing wanting to know the basics of the sport that we shall continue and leave no dumb ass questions unanswered.

TIME AGAIN FOR WEDNESDAYS TO BECOME A HAPPY WEDNESDAY 11
(Source: Vision Help)

So with this in mind, here we go…

1250m, 1600m, 1800m, 1650m, 1000m, 2400m are NOT arrival and departure times for those leaving the Shatin or Happy Valley Racecourses. Ok?

These are the distances which horses usually tackle on any race day.

A DUMMIES GUIDE TO HORSE RACING PART 3 1
(Source: W Day)

From what we know, there are no tips for the Mark Six. Just buy your ticket, fill in your numbers and hope for the best.

A DUMMIES GUIDE TO HORSE RACING PART 3 2
(Source: CS Assigment 3)

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Those numbers to the right of where the names of horses, trainers and jockeys are printed are the weights that horses have to carry.

The bigger the number, the heavier the weight and, supposedly, the better the horse. But as with anything in life, there is only so much dead weight one can carry before it breaks your fucking back.

A DUMMIES GUIDE TO HORSE RACING PART 3 3
(Source: Photo Bucket)

These weights do not mean jockeys losing weight by hitting the sauna between races or eating a few chicken vindaloo curries that have them scurrying to the loo or putting on weight by gobbling ten Big Macs.

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(Source: Toon Clips)

The weights are lead weights placed into the sides of saddles. Who does this job? We have no idea. Guess it’s a deadweight job.

A DUMMIES GUIDE TO HORSE RACING PART 3 5
(Source: Triple Crown Horse Wear)

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Hong Kong’s Champion jockey is Douglas Whyte from South Africa who, this season is going after his fourteenth CONSECUTIVE Jockey’s Premiership title, something which pisses off his knockers no end, but which makes The Whyte Man more focused than ever to make monkeys eat peanuts. Or something like that. We like him.

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(Source: HKJC)

Apprentice jockeys are new jockeys who have the permission to ride with a weight allowance- meaning less weight than the senior jockeys.

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(Source: Download Gannett)

You can tell who is an apprentice as there is usually an @ or a * next to their names.

Hong Kong apprentices are Alvin Ng and Dickie Lui who still need to improve their fine motor skills.

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(Source: Sharp Daily)

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(Source: HKJC)

They have their weight allowances until they show they have what it takes to compete with the big boys without riding like crazed cowboys zig-zagging their way through the cross-harbor tunnel.

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(Source: Red Bubble)

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Yes, if you need an English name- or a French one- Quinella can be used. It has NO copyright.

Same with Win, Place, Tierce, Six Up and Treble.

Use these freely to name your children or rename yourself.

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(Source: EKO Artist)

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Bill Nader, Director of Racing, and all-round good (American) guy, loves fireworks and is said to fall asleep listening to Firework by Katy Perry.

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(Source: HKJC)

He’s also a huge fan of COPS and, we hear- rumors of course- that he dresses up as a policeman to watch the show and its theme is high up on his iPod.

Hey, just saying what we hear: