Dear Gordon,

We know you have travelled extensively throughout India and tasted most of the different types of cuisine there, but, to be honest, what you tasted was not truly Indian cuisine.

Some of those high society Indian ladies to whom you spoke and took you to their favourite restaurants and had you taste what they thought to be “local” cuisine was a bit like having High Tea at the legendary Peninsula Hotel’s Lobby in Hong Kong and thinking you were having authentic dim sum at the famous and very old Lok Yu Teahouse.

For years now, we have heard rumours that “Gordon Ramsay is opening a restaurant in Hong Kong”.

Seriously, why?

Do you have any idea how many restaurants there are in Hong Kong?

No, no, it would be far, far better if you filmed one of your Hell’s Kitchens series out here and bring down some of the pompous and over-rated restaurants operating here and owned by rich socialites and conned as being “haute cuisine” when they are more like “naught cuisine”.

Same with those Michelin people who come out here frequently and present their Michelin Stars to restaurants based on price and not great cuisine.

To be fair, perhaps they’ve got smart, and are now giving almost token Michelin Stars to some of Hong Kong’s smaller restaurants. Perhaps it’s to show that a Michelin Star can also be given a “restaurant for the people” and with an eye on giving out their Stars to the big business that’s there to be had in China.

Perhaps they’re already there and where all the new restaurants catering to nouveau riche customers who drink expensive wines with ice cubes and Coke will fawn all over them.

Wait: That might be an idea for a new television series for you: Knocking the stuffing out of all these so-called Michelin Star restaurants and finding out why they deserve this “honour”.

Then again, in 2011, is this an ‘honour” or a fucking albatross and restaurant frequented by the pretentious brigade who wouldn’t know good from bad and are only impressed by prices on a menu?

It would be great if you were to expose these sacred cows, the Michelin Star restaurants and those who frequent these and have them self-implode.

Gordon, away from all this shee-shee pretentiousness is what we call the “real Hong Kong”- small family restaurants with brilliantly military-precious type service in their small kitchens, small traditional Chinese tea houses, all of which will disappear soon so you’d better hurry up and get here.

Why will they disappear? It’s to do with a word called “progress”. And if you ever wish to do a program called Hell’s Clubs, there are a whole slew of the same – all looking the same, playing the same type of music and jam-packed with posers watching everyone walk by and commenting on who’s “hot” and who’s not whilst nursing beers.

How any of these clubs make any money beats us.

Perhaps you can find out and let us know?

Cheers,

The Team at FastTrack.hk.